Today I was introduced to the funniest blogspot in the world. The blogger is re-reading the Baby Sitter's Club books as an adult and posting her takes on them now compared to when she was a child. This has inspired me to blog a book that I wrote in the 5th grade. When I wrote it and won an award I was under the impression that I was a genius. Now when I read it I am convinced that I was a booger eating moron.
Dog Gone
Chapter one:
"Mom!" yelled Maxie Blue of Park Avenue, New York, New York on April 3, 1990. "Can I borrow some money to go to the department store and buy a new game to play?"
"Maxie," her mother said from her bedroom, sweetly but firmly, "every time you borrow money from me you never pay me back. You should be glad I'm not a bank. Mabey you should go find a job," her mother continued.
"What kind of a place would hire a kid at my age?" Maxie asked.
As her mother opened the door to her bedroom, she said, "Mabey you could have your own business, lik walking dogs. A lot of dog owners in this building would like to hire people to walk their dogs for them."
Maxie was only ten, looking thirteen or fourteen, and she was always willing to use her age as an excuse.
Chapter two:
Maxie found a lot of people that wanted their dogs walked. The people who wanted their dogs walked had to wait in a long line.
Maxie started out with Billy Mires, who was a friend of hers. Billy had a mean Doberman which he kept on his balcony outside of his living room.
As she walked Billy's dog, he dragged her through mud puddles and sewer streams, from last week's rain. Maxie scraped her knee and both of her elbows.
Billy was willing to pay her only ten cents. With his mean laugh he slammed the door in her face.
After Billy's dog, she managed to carry herself to Mrs. Shields' apartment. Mrs. Shields was very strange and always said things about someone's future and wore a lot of jewelry. Her hair was as black as night and her face as pale as a cloud in the sky.
Chapter three:
When Maxie rang Mrs. Shields' doorbell she openedthe door slowly. She looked at aMaxie without smiling or saying "Hello." A few seconds later Mrs. Shields' dog, Death, came barking down throught the hall woth his leash draggin along behind him. Maxie picked him up, and tried to say thank you, but when she was about to, Mrs. Shields slammed the door.
As Maxie was walking Death, it wasn't as bad as Billy's dog; except they did go through a small water puddle, but she didn't get very wet.
When they got back to the builiing she gave Mrs. Shields her dog. Mrs. Shields again slammed the door, without paying. As Maxie was about to yell, telling Mrs. Shields to pay, and envelope was shoved under the door. Maxie bent over and picked it up. As she opened it a ten dollar bill slipped out.
"Oh, My gosh!" Maxie screamed.
Chapter four:
Forgetting about all of the other customers, Maxie ran back to her apartment and called her best friend, Chas. They made thier own nick-names. they had known each other for six years. As Maxie picked up the telephone she dialed the numbers 1-212 as and area code. Chas (short for Chasity) lived in Manhatten and rode a ferry back and took a cab to get over to Maxie's house, even just to say "Hello." Kids were always saying how Chas "had money and how she bragged about it all the time."
"Hello," a voice said, coming from the telephone.
"Chas," said Maxie, in an excited way, " I just made ten dollars off of walking a small schnauzer."
"That's great," the answered. "Would you like to talk to Chastity now?"
With all the excitement, Maxie didn't notice that the person who ansered the telephone was Chas' eight year old brother.
"Oops!" Maxie replied.
Chapter five:
Another person came on the telephone. "Hello," they said. "Is this Chastity?" Maxie answered back.
"Yes, this is Chastity."
"Chas, I just made ten dollars by walking a dog."
"Hey, that's great, but when did you start walking dogs?" Chas asked.
"Just today," Maxie relied in a questioning way. "I was wondering if you wanted to start a business with me?"
"Well sure, I'll be over there right away."
When she got there Maxie was standing outside of the door with a notebook in her hands that said "Appointment Book" onthe front of it in neat blue block letters, and had a small brown shag dog on the bottom of it.
"What's that?" asked Chastity.
"It's your book," answered Maxie. "You are going to be my secretary."
"Oh, allright, " Chastity siad, in a disapointed manner.
"What you will do is set my appointments up by times, I will do three dogs at a time, the times are set up in different pages. You can use my room as your office because I have a private telephone," Maxie went on. "We will split the money in half."
Chapter six:
When Chastity left that day Maxie went and looked at her appointment book. She found that Chastity had put ten dogs down for the same times. Maxie was just about to get mad.
"Well," she thought, "she didn't explain how to work with the appointment book very well, and she did say it very fast..."
But Chastity should have been listening!
She picked up the telephone to tell her what she did. Maxie was mad but she understood. Maxie would just have to understand this time, and walk all the dogs.
"I can handle it," she said to herself. I am very strong, although I might be just ten years old.
She hung up the telephone. She walked over to the television and turned it on.
Feeling sorry for herself, Maxie fell asleep.
Chapter seven:
the next morning Chastity didn't show up so Maxie went and got the dogs.
the last dog that Maxie picked up was Death from Mrs. Shields' apartment. Mrs. Shields answered the door just like the first time except when she saw the nine dogs barking and yacking, she opened her eyes widely and looked at them in a strange way. Then she looked at Maxie and said in a very cracky voice, "My dog, you'd better not lose." Maxie didn't know what she meant and she didn't bother to ask.
As she was walking the dogs she kept hearing Mrs. Shields' voice saying, "My dog, you'd better not lose him."
Everything went well at first until Mrs. Edwards the land lady was waling up the outside steps of the apartment building holding her cat, Precious. Everyone in the aprtments call it Sid Vicious.
That's when it happened, the second civil war, one against ten. Or was that seven?
"Oh, no!" Maxie said to herself.
Chapter eight:
Maxie found tow of the dogs that were missing, and returned the other ones that she'd kept ahold of . She was scared that night. She fell asleep in a hurry. She dreamt that a red light came clashing throught the window and then a large black hand picked her up and threw her through the glass and out the window. She woke up after this in a cold sweat. Then she went back to sleep.
That morning she went to look for Precious, wondering why Mrs. Shields hadn't called asking about Death. She found Precious in the halls of the apartment building on the fifth floor. Precious struggled, but Maxie managed to pick her up and took her back to Mrs. Edwards' apartment. After she returned the cat, she went to Mrs. Shields' apartment in a scared way.
She knocked onthe doore of Mrs. Shields' apartment. Mrs. Shields answered in an abnormal manner; she actually smiled and said "Hello." Mrs. Shields was definitelyhappier than usual. To Maxie's surprise Death came barking down the hall like usual.
Death had been found, and someone else, a man with a dark mustache and short hair came up behind the dog in a camoflaged outfit.
"No wonder Mrs. Shields was always so sad and lonely," thought Maxie. "She didn't want me to lose her dog because she wouldn't have had anyone to do anything with."
The End
Apparently, the moral of the story is, if a woman seems unhappy and a little scary it must be because she doesn't have a man...thanks mom.
