Lady of leisure...no more!

How many times will I add and remove blogs? For some reason I feel that what I put on this blog should be much more insightful than what I put on my myspace blogs.

Today was another non-constructive day. I did get my house half-way clean, without being able to vacuum of course. But, as I explained to Ashlea, these days I really don't care. I wish I did care, I would then be able to obsess over cleaning, which I'm used to, rather than obsess over why I'm not obsessed with cleaning. The high-light of my day was when Ryan came home and we played with the dogs, and ate at subway.

Side bar: It's very interesting to see Ryan play with the dogs. I've all the sudden seen a very sensitive side of him. I have known that he is a very caring person. But there is just something so cute about how much he adores Vegas. Reno is constantly picking on Vegas and Ryan has become very protective over Vegas. I take the more non-sympathetic role saying, "Leave them alone, Vegas needs to get used to it." While Ryan is carrying Vegas around the house to sheild him from Reno. Mabey it's a sympathetic male thing. I'm sure Vegas is feeling extremely emasculated and Ryan probably recognizes that.

Any way, since when did the high-light of my day become Ryan's return home from work. Don't get me wrong. I love that I felt happy when he arrived, but I don't think that should be what I look forward to all day long. That kindof borderlines co-dependency. Have I become so much an un-moving figure in my house that I'm no longer a person with desires. Luckily, I will be starting my new full time job on Feb. 13. I'm sure that will give me a greater since of purpose. After all, how can I help to create a happy, thriving marriage and household, if I am not a happy, thriving person.

I'm pretty sure my new job was handed to me by God himself. Everything is exactly what we were hoping for, the pay that I was hoping for, the flexibility to be able to spend time with the family on the weekends, the clientel is perfect for me, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be a lot of fun. Not only that, but every one else in the world has to work I should be doing it as well.

I know that Doctor Laura would be appalled to read this, but I don't think I'll be able to be the mother that doesn't work. I certainly don't want to go to the same extreme as my mother, but I would be crazy if I had to stay at home and not have structure and a schedule at least 3 days out of the week. But, we'll see what God has in store for me in that department.

Tomorrow, I will be doing my retail merchandising job. I don't know if I'll want to keep that when I start my full time job. It seems like I might be trying to put too much on my plate. I will try and see how it goes.

I'm looking forward to experiencing some changes and am hoping and praying for the best.